Getting healthy and losing weight has been an adventure. It's caused me to learn a lot about eating right, thinking right, setting myself up for success, and it's made me want to share that with other people! So, I've found myself repeating everything I did and trying to remember everything. I suck at that, so I am going to write a series of posts detailing it all.
As a note before I begin; I am not a doctor, nutritionist, or exercise expert in any way. I took a PE and a Nutrition class in the course of my Elementary Ed degree and I read everything I could get my hands on while I was on my journey (which is continuing, so I still do) and when I had questions I called my cousin who is a health-nut and has been a personal trainer.
Being "Ready"
Being overweight or unhealthy does many things to your mental health. I'm talking about my experience and that of my friends, but I assume most people feel the same, or similar. First off, you feel overwhelmed with the idea of doing anything to improve your health, and that makes you feel like a failure. The desire to control our lives doesn't like the possibility of feeling out of control while trying to change our lives, and constantly intrudes in our thoughts demanding we give up and do whatever we want.
I recently read a great blurb about this in a Facebook group:
"When you feel like you've failed, or are struggling to maintain newly acquired habits, remember it's NOT YOU. Changing health behavior is INCREDIBLY HARD. The brain doesn't like change. The brain is hard-wired to maintain the status quo. In any given year only 1 in 5 people, using the best available programs, are able to lose a mere 10% of their body weight for five years and that percentage is similar for maintaining exercise habits.
Rather than let that get you down, I want that to comfort you when the going gets tough. Because it's NOT YOU. You aren't a failure, you are human, normal, and there isn't a single behavior out there that has a high success rate when it comes to change. It's the way it is.
The unconscious part of our brains is hardwired to look at immediate benefit (within about 10 min) and creates habits quickly based on relief or reward. Habits are a 'sort' of memory that never goes away. So again, it's NOT YOU. It's the way things are set up. This is not all bad. It's what allows you to get on a bike and ride after years of not riding. It's what allows us to describe other people's personalities because without the maintenance of habits, people would be constantly changing and never predictable in the least.
When you have a 'relapse' -- whether that means overeating, eating mindlessly all day, forgetting veggies for a week, missing your exercise for several days, don't despair. Relapse is also normal. NOT just 'common' normal but inevitable. Relapse is NOT evidence of failure, but an expected part of changing. What we often do wrong is view relapse as a failure and then act as though we never embarked upon change in the first place. Don't do that. Just get right back up, brush yourself off, and view it as a learning experience.
Making healthier choices more often, on its own, will improve your life anyway, even if you never reach "perfection" or a fixed permanent state of success. If you rarely eat vegetables and you aim for 5 a day but end up getting 5 a week...THAT is an improvement! THAT is worth getting excited over because you've just added THAT much more nutrition to your diet. Don't get fixated on perfection!
Healthy habits, even if not perfect, also have a ripple effect. When one person in a group of smokers quits, it often leads to others attempting it and even succeeding. When one person in a group loses weight, starts running, vows to eat more nutritious foods, it has a profound effect on others. So not only does a little improvement do good things for YOU, it can influence the people around you.
Moral of the story? If you're struggling, don't give up. Difficulty means you're growing. If you've had a set back, don't give up. That's also part of growing and par for the course of changing habits."
So basically, your inner desire to "do whatever you want" is only thinking about the next 10 minutes. Part of growing up is thinking about FURTHER into the future than the next 10 minutes. It's a hard thing to do, but really, life is not pleasant if you don't learn to do it.
You will often find articles about deciding whether you are ready to get healthy or whether it's a good time to start trying to lose weight. These articles basically just give you a good excuse not to work on your health. They will say not to start a health change when you're stressed or going through a life change or blah, blah, blah. When, as an adult, are you NOT stressed? There is always going to be some crisis. There is always going to be stress and something happening that makes things difficult. That's just life.
Whatever your health change, whether it's quitting smoking or losing weight, you just have to dive right in. Set yourself up for success and don't accept excuses from you. You are only punishing YOURSELF if you do. Nobody else is effected by your health MORE than YOU! If you have kids and it helps to remember that you want to be there for them and be lively, great, remember that. But you have to want it for YOU. Do it for YOU not them. YOU are the one you need to worry about letting down. YOU are worth being healthy, you have to make your health a priority!
The big thing about starting your health journey is being creative to figure out how to fit your health choices into your routine. For me, it means getting up early and exercising before my son gets up. Then, making sure I have food in the house that allows me to pack good lunches for work. I have NEVER been an early riser. Never. Ever. But I realized about half-way through the major part of my journey that working out in the afternoon was too hot and intruded on my day and getting up earlier would make the rest of the day go more smoothly and keep the "healthy" part out of the main part of my life. So, I am now a person who gets up at 6 AM. Yeah, there is really a 6 AM.
What I need to stress the most about my health journey is that it was a "Health Journey", not a "weight-loss method". I wanted to be healthy so that I was setting a good example for my child, to play with him actively, and to feel pretty again. I wanted to be healthy mentally also, which meant working to be less non-confrontational, being more genuine, and not putting up a front of what I felt others wanted or expected from me. Of this journey for health, weight loss was a happy side-effect. Remembering this fact can really help on a week with no pounds lost. The goal is HEALTH; weight loss is a side effect of health.
So, are you ready to begin your own health journey? It's a pretty easy question to answer. Do you want to be healthy? Do you want to live a life that is more comfortable and energetic? I won't say longer, who cares if it's longer if it sucks? Being health makes you feel good. THAT is what is worth the trouble. Are you tired of looking in the mirror and not liking what you see? Are you ready to do whatever if takes, even if it means NOT taking a pill or going on a week-long juice-only diet? What kind of crazy crap do you put yourself to in order to avoid, *gasp* possibly having to exercise? I promise you, it's just not that bad! The principles I use are simple. All you have to do is bring your determination and set yourself up for success.
I must also mention that during your journey as you move towards being more genuine or start losing lots of weight or both, you might find you have some rocky times in relationships with family or your spouse. Changing who you are means changing how you see the world and how other people react to you. I found that without all the weight, I am much more vulnerable. I don't have a little voice saying in my head, "They aren't critiquing the real me, they are just responding to the front I put up/fat me." Whatever people do or say now, they ARE responding to the real me. If they're unhappy with me, they are unhappy with ME; not a facade I put up. It took a while to figure that out and come to terms with it. I'm good now, but it was hard for a while.
Is it worth the trouble? Uh, yeah! Size 6 is worth getting up at 6 AM. More energy is worth not having a Carmelizer everyday. Being true to my personality is worth the looks from people who think I'm crazy. It's freeing not to worry about what other people think. I am who I am, and my kid thinks I'm hilarious. So I do a little dance and I sing a little song. Seriously, I do; he laughs, it's awesome.
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