So You're Going To Have A People-Baby...

There comes a time in life where your foals and woolly aged horses no longer satisfy the maternal instinct.  Perhaps you have acquired several small dogs to have something to cuddle.  Family members might have started encouraging you to have "a baby".  You may have said, "But Gallahad/Bootsy/Sgt Silly-Pants IS my baby!"  Most likely they rolled their eyes and muttered something about not being mother-material as they walked away.

At this point, I must remind you; mothers are born when their children are born.  You never start out mother-material; BEING a mother MAKES you mother-material.  Being a good mother requires the same selflessness and lack of vanity that being a great animal owner takes.  So, look at your animals.  Are they up to date at the vet?  Eating healthy food?  Shiny, happy, waiting for you to drop food as you read this?  Is their living area safe and free of pointy objects?  Then you're probably good.

So, the time is take to have a baby is about the same as when horse-shopping for a really good horse; almost a year.  Pregnancy is more physically exhausting, but I supposed you could get bucked off a prospective horse and end in the hospital, so that would be worse.  The biggest difference is probably that people don't start asking you when you're going to buy a horse, how you found out about the perfect horse, whether it took a long time...actually I probably would, so I guess it depends on who your friends are.  Okay, your MOM won't start asking you when you're going to get a horse and aren't you wasting time.

Here are some handy translations.  I have a 2 yr old people-baby and I still have to stop and think sometimes or ask someone nearby what the word is I'm looking for (seriously).

Horse/Dog:                                        People:

Vet                                                     Doctor (Pediatrician for baby people)

Paddock                                             Play-Pen

Dam                                                    Mother

Sire                                                     Father

Muck                                                  Change Diaper/Clean up

Jolly Ball                                               Sesame Street

(I'll keep adding to this list)

Some things ARE the same.  Both drink milk from the mother.  Both will play/fight with siblings.  Both LOVE attention and may HATE bathes at first.  They both may kick you in the face and break your nose.  They're both super adorable and everyone will want to pet them.