Ahh, Parenting

It seems like everyday I say something in the line of being a parent that I never saw myself saying.  Usually, it's something I would never have dreamed up the instance that would require it.  I'm sure you could add your own!

-Please stop poking the dog in the eye.  (Dog, MOVE!)

-We don't hit the dog with a branch.

-Sure, I guess you can take a balsa wood airplane into the shower...

-You're going to take a whole hot-wheels race track to the bathroom with you?  Why not.

-Don't touch the poo-poo!

-You can't have Tylenol, you're not sick!

Funny Stuffs

Healthy Journey- Part 2 (Choosing Your Choices)

At the outset of my Health Journey I set certain rules for myself.  I wanted to start a lifestyle that I could easily continue forever.  That meant I was not going to do anything that I wouldn't be able to do long-term.  So, that meant no 3-hour workouts.  No way I can do that very much with a baby to car for.  I was not going to do anything that interfered with my being a great mom and wife.  I wasn't going to do anything to lose weight that wasn't healthy.  THIS IS A HEALTH JOURNEY, NOT A WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY.  So no pills, so starving, etc; because that is not healthy.

There are many theories about what to cut, what to include, what to avoid, what you might be allergic too, etc.  If you sincerely think you have an allergy to something, get the blood-test to check.  I ruled out a thyroid issue before starting.  Otherwise, you are going to just have to pick what makes sense to you, because you can't cut out every single thing that might contribute to health or you'd have nothing left to eat.  Here is what I focused on:

1. Portion control (I tend to eat as much as I can before exploding)
Read labels do you know how big a serving is.  A lot of things look healthy till you realize a serving in a tablespoon, a half a bottle, 6 per bag, etc.  You need to learn how much of a food is considered a portion.

2. Having a routine time for meals
I tend to either eat a lot because I'm home doing nothing and bored, or forget to eat till 5 PM and then eat till I can't possibly stuff another bite in my mouth.  Turns out, it freaks your body out and your metabolism.  According to articles I can't find right now, if you eat later than usual, you body will go into starvation mode. If you eat at regular intervals, your body will expect the food to be there the next time and won't hoard anything.

This was easier for me when I started because I had my kiddo to feed, so I would feed him and eat with him and I didn't forget to eat.  Also, since I was fixing something healthy for him, I was more likely to eat healthy and not just grab whatever was grabbable.

Now, I have my body programmed to be hungry at meal times and I am HUNGRY at meal time.  It is much harder to forget to eat when your stomach is growling.

3. Eat breakfast, and focus your carbs there.
Another article I read but can't find to link to, said that you want to put your carbs in the morning.  The carbs are what your body uses for energy, so it makes sense to eat them before you start your day.  Everything says it's better to eat ANYTHING at breakfast than nothing.  One article even said a donut was better than nothing.  So, eat in the morning and pack in all the nutrients you can.  Before, I was one of those people who didn't eat breakfast.  I wasn't hungry, it made my stomach hurt, whatever.  Force yourself to do it, start out small and build up.  My body got used to eating in the morning and I can't imagine not eating breakfast now.

4. Exercise 5 days a week
And by exercise I mean jog, swim, aerobics, etc; has to get your heart-rate up for the duration of the activity.  Also, you want some sort of muscle-building too.  Weight lifting or using your body to do the same thing, but SOMETHING.  Muscle is what burns calories.  Weight-training is what builds muscle.  Cardio is what enables muscles to burn the calories.  You won't get the best results unless you do BOTH.  What I do is jog a mile, then do a work-out with hand-weights and a stability ball.  It takes about 30 minutes to do BOTH.  That is ALL I have done.  Ever.  No 3-hour work-outs, no Insanity.  I am literally done by 7 AM and on to the rest of my day.

5. Drink Lots of Water
Seriously.  A LOT of water.  Like constantly.  Carry a gallon jug of it in your car.  Take a cup of it with you to work.  Keep one at your computer desk.  Have a water glass over the sink.  DRINK WATER ALL THE TIME.

6. Act like the person it is my goal to be
One thing I realized was that there were things I thought to myself, "If I were thin I would ____ right now".  I would hop up and run over to grab something I left in the kitchen.  I would dance to this song on the radio.  I would run across the parking lot.  Then it occurred to me, if I plan to be a thin person, I guess I should be doing those things!  I may look silly doing a dance, be out of breath running, or too lazy to go back to the other room, but by golly I'm gonna do it, because that's what a thin me would do, and that's who I plan to be!

7. Be Genuine
This may not be one of your goals, but it was a big one of mine.  I didn't realize how big until I started implementing it.  I didn't realize how much I censored myself to be what I thought other people wanted.  Screw other people!  If you are silly, be silly!  If you like to sing commercial jingles while you grocery shop, just keep it to an 'inside-voice'.  Be who you are and you won't have to remember who you're trying to be.

I am a person who does little dances and sings little songs and is silly.  I have to face that.  I am professional, but I am an elementary teacher, maybe there's a reason I chose that profession?  Kindergartners love silly little dances, just saying.

8. Eat to live, not live to eat
People who overeat generally do so because they are either emotional-eaters or boredom-eaters.  I thought I was an emotional-eater, but by the time the first day of my journey was over I realized I am actually a boredom eat.  Instead of eating because it's fun or makes you feel better, you want to think of food as fuel that helps your body run at it's best.  If the food you are holding doesn't improve your body's ability to function, you don't want to put it in your body.

9. Limit salt
Adults NEED salt.  We need 1,500 mg a day for our nervous system to function.  That is less than a tablespoon. You have to remember this number when choosing your food for the day or you'll meet it by the end of breakfast.  Choose foods that don't need salt, or that you make at home and so have less salt, or that are low-sodium.  You will become more sensitive to the salt.  I promise.  You won't miss it forever.

10. Get enough sleep
Sleep is essential is being and staying healthy, losing weight, and not killing people.  Also, your sleep BEFORE midnight counts for more than the sleep AFTER midnight.  So go to bed at 9 PM and get up early, not go to bed at 1 AM and sleep till noon (Annie!).

And the big, scary one;
11. No added sugar
Okay, so this is pretty much the decider in whether you'll be successful or not.  Sugar is not your friend.  Sugar hates you.  Sugar said really nasty things about you to that person who didn't even need a reason to dislike you, and now they hate you even more!  Okay?

I must add that by "sugar", I mean the kind of sugar in cookies, candy, Carmelizer's, Icee's, birthday cake, cupcakes, pastries, and everything else that makes my mouth water thinking about it.  Sugar that occurs naturally in a food, like apples, is fine!  In a fruit, sugar is paired with nutrients that tells your body what to do with it.  It uses it for energy and makes you happy.  In a milkshake, it just turns into fat in like 5 minutes (obvious exaggeration).  This does not make you happy.  This makes you cry in the dressing room while trying on bathing suits.

So; Fruit=Good, Candy=Bad.  When I started my journey I didn't pay attention to calories at all.  I just followed the above list.  When I plataead after a couple months, THEN I added in paying attention to calorie intake.  I don't count calories, but I will do an estimate in my head when putting together my meal.

I will elaborate on these in the next posts.  This is the basic list.  Don't get overwhelmed!  The big things are exercise every day and avoid sugar.

Healthy Journey (Part 1-The Psych Up)

People ask all the time how I lost weight after Desmond.  I think he are usually hoping for an answer like, "I found this herb/pill/surgeon/etc."  When I answer, "I jog a mile every day and avoid added sugar," they tend to say that it's great, but they could never do that.  Uh, yeah you can!  You may not WANT to, but you can. You maybe need to choose an alternative to jogging, but you can do it.


Getting healthy and losing weight has been an adventure.  It's caused me to learn a lot about eating right, thinking right, setting myself up for success, and it's made me want to share that with other people!  So, I've found myself repeating everything I did and trying to remember everything.  I suck at that, so I am going to write a series of posts detailing it all.

As a note before I begin; I am not a doctor, nutritionist, or exercise expert in any way.  I took a PE and a Nutrition class in the course of my Elementary Ed degree and I read everything I could get my hands on while I was on my journey (which is continuing, so I still do) and when I had questions I called my cousin who is a health-nut and has been a personal trainer.

Being "Ready"

Being overweight or unhealthy does many things to your mental health.  I'm talking about my experience and that of my friends, but I assume most people feel the same, or similar.  First off, you feel overwhelmed with the idea of doing anything to improve your health, and that makes you feel like a failure.  The desire to control our lives doesn't like the possibility of feeling out of control while trying to change our lives, and constantly intrudes in our thoughts demanding we give up and do whatever we want.

I recently read a great blurb about this in a Facebook group:

"When you feel like you've failed, or are struggling to maintain newly acquired habits, remember it's NOT YOU. Changing health behavior is INCREDIBLY HARD. The brain doesn't like change. The brain is hard-wired to maintain the status quo. In any given year only 1 in 5 people, using the best available programs, are able to lose a mere 10% of their body weight for five years and that percentage is similar for maintaining exercise habits.

Rather than let that get you down, I want that to comfort you when the going gets tough. Because it's NOT YOU. You aren't a failure, you are human, normal, and there isn't a single behavior out there that has a high success rate when it comes to change. It's the way it is. 

The unconscious part of our brains is hardwired to look at immediate benefit (within about 10 min) and creates habits quickly based on relief or reward. Habits are a 'sort' of memory that never goes away. So again, it's NOT YOU. It's the way things are set up. This is not all bad. It's what allows you to get on a bike and ride after years of not riding. It's what allows us to describe other people's personalities because without the maintenance of habits, people would be constantly changing and never predictable in the least. 

When you have a 'relapse' -- whether that means overeating, eating mindlessly all day, forgetting veggies for a week, missing your exercise for several days, don't despair. Relapse is also normal. NOT just 'common' normal but inevitable. Relapse is NOT evidence of failure, but an expected part of changing. What we often do wrong is view relapse as a failure and then act as though we never embarked upon change in the first place. Don't do that. Just get right back up, brush yourself off, and view it as a learning experience.

Making healthier choices more often, on its own, will improve your life anyway, even if you never reach "perfection" or a fixed permanent state of success. If you rarely eat vegetables and you aim for 5 a day but end up getting 5 a week...THAT is an improvement! THAT is worth getting excited over because you've just added THAT much more nutrition to your diet. Don't get fixated on perfection!

Healthy habits, even if not perfect, also have a ripple effect. When one person in a group of smokers quits, it often leads to others attempting it and even succeeding. When one person in a group loses weight, starts running, vows to eat more nutritious foods, it has a profound effect on others. So not only does a little improvement do good things for YOU, it can influence the people around you. 

Moral of the story? If you're struggling, don't give up. Difficulty means you're growing. If you've had a set back, don't give up. That's also part of growing and par for the course of changing habits."


So basically, your inner desire to "do whatever you want" is only thinking about the next 10 minutes.  Part of growing up is thinking about FURTHER into the future than the next 10 minutes.  It's a hard thing to do, but really, life is not pleasant if you don't learn to do it.

You will often find articles about deciding whether you are ready to get healthy or whether it's a good time to start trying to lose weight.  These articles basically just give you a good excuse not to work on your health.  They will say not to start a health change when you're stressed or going through a life change or blah, blah, blah.  When, as an adult, are you NOT stressed?  There is always going to be some crisis.  There is always going to be stress and something happening that makes things difficult.  That's just life.


Whatever your health change, whether it's quitting smoking or losing weight, you just have to dive right in.  Set yourself up for success and don't accept excuses from you.  You are only punishing YOURSELF if you do.  Nobody else is effected by your health MORE than YOU!  If you have kids and it helps to remember that you want to be there for them and be lively, great, remember that.  But you have to want it for YOU.  Do it for YOU not them.  YOU are the one you need to worry about letting down.  YOU are worth being healthy, you have to make your health a priority!


The big thing about starting your health journey is being creative to figure out how to fit your health choices into your routine.  For me, it means getting up early and exercising before my son gets up.  Then, making sure I have food in the house that allows me to pack good lunches for work.  I have NEVER been an early riser.  Never.  Ever.  But I realized about half-way through the major part of my journey that working out in the afternoon was too hot and intruded on my day and getting up earlier would make the rest of the day go more smoothly and keep the "healthy" part out of the main part of my life.  So, I am now a person who gets up at 6 AM.  Yeah, there is really a 6 AM.


What I need to stress the most about my health journey is that it was a "Health Journey", not a "weight-loss method".  I wanted to be healthy so that I was setting a good example for my child, to play with him actively, and to feel pretty again.  I wanted to be healthy mentally also, which meant working to be less non-confrontational, being more genuine, and not putting up a front of what I felt others wanted or expected from me.  Of this journey for health, weight loss was a happy side-effect.  Remembering this fact can really help on a week with no pounds lost.  The goal is HEALTH; weight loss is a side effect of health.


So, are you ready to begin your own health journey?  It's a pretty easy question to answer.  Do you want to be healthy?  Do you want to live a life that is more comfortable and energetic?  I won't say longer, who cares if it's longer if it sucks?  Being health makes you feel good.  THAT is what is worth the trouble.  Are you tired of looking in the mirror and not liking what you see?  Are you ready to do whatever if takes, even if it means NOT taking a pill or going on a week-long juice-only diet?  What kind of crazy crap do you put yourself to in order to avoid, *gasp* possibly having to exercise?  I promise you, it's just not that bad!  The principles I use are simple.  All you have to do is bring your determination and set yourself up for success.


I must also mention that during your journey as you move towards being more genuine or start losing lots of weight or both, you might find you have some rocky times in relationships with family or your spouse.  Changing who you are means changing how you see the world and how other people react to you.  I found that without all the weight, I am much more vulnerable.  I don't have a little voice saying in my head, "They aren't critiquing the real me, they are just responding to the front I put up/fat me."  Whatever people do or say now, they ARE responding to the real me.  If they're unhappy with me, they are unhappy with ME; not a facade I put up.  It took a while to figure that out and come to terms with it.  I'm good now, but it was hard for a while.


Is it worth the trouble?  Uh, yeah!  Size 6 is worth getting up at 6 AM.  More energy is worth not having a Carmelizer everyday.  Being true to my personality is worth the looks from people who think I'm crazy.  It's freeing not to worry about what other people think.  I am who I am, and my kid thinks I'm hilarious.  So I do a little dance and I sing a little song.  Seriously, I do; he laughs, it's awesome.

Decorative Owls (Craft)

So, Des and I have a fondness for owls.  Hoo-Hoo was the first animal noise he learned and he really embraced it.  We point out owls to each other everywhere we go.  Artistic owls that barely resemble the real thing, photos of real owls sitting on branches and flying with their wings out.  Big owl fans.  Anyway, the other day I was looking for projects to do with toilet paper tubes and I found these adorable decorative owls.  There is another example that is slightly less formal.

I thought these were pretty darn cute, so while Des was watching Phineas & Ferb yesterday, I got out the tubes and started making ears.  They're really easy, not too messy and only as time consuming as you want them to be.  They aren't easy enough for a 2-year old, so Des just watched, but kids not too much older could handle the ear-tuft folding and kids that like to paint and draw more could do that part.  Des isn't too much into painting, unless you can use a back-hoe, so I just let him watch.  I was using these as my me-time.

First, select your tubes.  I plan to save these and do something with them (haven't figure out what yet), so I chose tubes without bent up edges.  Rub the places where the glue was holding paper on to make sure it's all off and they're smooth.  Next, for the ear-tufts, fold the end down and try to get it matching up as evenly as possible on top.  You could cut some so they are shorter than the others if you wanted to give them varying height.

For the next stage I would put out newspaper.  Grab your favorite colors of acrylic craft paint and a brush.  I used aged paint from my craft stuff that is probably from a class I took in high-school, so probably going on 10 yrs old, and a narrow foam brush because it was handy.  I used two and just had to keep washing them out as I switched colors.  It worked fine, but it would be handier to have as many brushes as you do paint.

Next, paint each tube in as many coats as it takes to look like it's not a toilet paper tube.  It took only a couple coats on the pearlized paint, several on the yellow and orange, so it just depends on the paint.  Just keep adding layers and letting them dry till you're happy with them.  Don't forget the top and the edge where it meets in the middle; you'll want to make sure it's coated so you can't see brown from any angle.

After your paint is completely dry, find yourself a really nice permanent marker.  I used the type that is wide-tipped and you'll want one with good ink flow.  Settle yourself somewhere comfy; I picked in front of the TV watching with Des-man, so I believe it was Oomi-Zoomi.  Draw on your owl's features.  I decided to be more realistic than my examples, but stylized looks fun, too, and I might do more that are even more patterny.  They dried really fast and the pen wrote great on the paint, which I wasn't sure it would.  I didn't even end up with too much marker on ME, which I thought was pretty impressive.

Last thing was that I sprayed them with Matte Finish spray to make sure the paint and marker didn't get rubbed off.  I wanted to use a gloss finish so they'd be shiny, but I didn't have any handy.  I wasn't sure if the spray would make the marker run, but it didn't.  I think it did make it bleed when I held the can too close, but if you make sure you stay about 8 inches from the owl, you should be good.  Also, so several layers and let it dry a few seconds in between, that also helps with the not bleeding.  They dried really fast and Des was able to hold one in minutes.  He really like the Hoo-Hoo's and make Daddy look at them.  He watched me photograph them in their "natural habitat" from the yard and had a hard time not coming to "help" me.  Did manage to let the dog out and he didn't come back till this morning and he's been sleeping all day, so he must have had some adventure out there.

There are my finished Decorative Owls!  They were pretty fun.  I have to think of something neat to use them  for, haven't decided what yet.  They're currently just hanging out on the fireplace.  Any ideas?

So You're Going To Have A People-Baby...

There comes a time in life where your foals and woolly aged horses no longer satisfy the maternal instinct.  Perhaps you have acquired several small dogs to have something to cuddle.  Family members might have started encouraging you to have "a baby".  You may have said, "But Gallahad/Bootsy/Sgt Silly-Pants IS my baby!"  Most likely they rolled their eyes and muttered something about not being mother-material as they walked away.

At this point, I must remind you; mothers are born when their children are born.  You never start out mother-material; BEING a mother MAKES you mother-material.  Being a good mother requires the same selflessness and lack of vanity that being a great animal owner takes.  So, look at your animals.  Are they up to date at the vet?  Eating healthy food?  Shiny, happy, waiting for you to drop food as you read this?  Is their living area safe and free of pointy objects?  Then you're probably good.

So, the time is take to have a baby is about the same as when horse-shopping for a really good horse; almost a year.  Pregnancy is more physically exhausting, but I supposed you could get bucked off a prospective horse and end in the hospital, so that would be worse.  The biggest difference is probably that people don't start asking you when you're going to buy a horse, how you found out about the perfect horse, whether it took a long time...actually I probably would, so I guess it depends on who your friends are.  Okay, your MOM won't start asking you when you're going to get a horse and aren't you wasting time.

Here are some handy translations.  I have a 2 yr old people-baby and I still have to stop and think sometimes or ask someone nearby what the word is I'm looking for (seriously).

Horse/Dog:                                        People:

Vet                                                     Doctor (Pediatrician for baby people)

Paddock                                             Play-Pen

Dam                                                    Mother

Sire                                                     Father

Muck                                                  Change Diaper/Clean up

Jolly Ball                                               Sesame Street

(I'll keep adding to this list)

Some things ARE the same.  Both drink milk from the mother.  Both will play/fight with siblings.  Both LOVE attention and may HATE bathes at first.  They both may kick you in the face and break your nose.  They're both super adorable and everyone will want to pet them.

2012 Is Here!

Desmond is so hilarious. He wants to be part of every joke and he loves to make people laugh. If the rest of us are laughing he joins in. He likes to make funny faces to get you to laugh and he loves being tickled and putting things on his head to be silly. He has really enjoyed seeing his out of town relatives this Christmas. They start leaving this week and we're all going to miss them. We had a good weekend, I got to spend more time with Des and he was really fun. Full of hugs and laughs.

Working Mom After Christmas

I am SO tired. It doesn't feel like I've had a day off in ages. Norman and I both work 5 days a week, I have Des all Saturday myself, he has Monday. Sunday is our only day off together. On the days I don't work I'm cleaning or running errands, same goes for Norman. Christmas he worked the morning, so we didn't end up with any time together at all over this last weekend. Saturday I took Des to my grandma's, home to nap and I cleaned house, then out to Elaine's for Shaw Christmas, then home to open our own presents and visit with cousins. Then Christmas Norman went to work, I took Des to Grandma's, we ate breakfast and the kids opened presents, took him home to nap, Norman got home, we went back to Grandma's for dinner, then home to put Des to bed. By the time he's in bed I'm so tired it's all I can do to get the dogs rounded up in their crates and get to bed myself.

I'm starting to feel the separation with Des. I don't get to see him much and when I do I'm either feeding him or putting him to bed. I don't get to play with him really at all. Most mornings I don't see him at all unless I'm piling him into a car to go to Grandma's. Then I get him at 4, usually we stay for dinner, then bring him home and put him to bed. I'm so tired I don't have energy to do anything fun with him. I feel like I could go to sleep for an entire day. I feel like all I do is work or clean. Norman and I haven't had any time together in weeks. My life is not feeling very balanced right now.

First Salon Hair Cut

Des got his first salon haircut yesterday! I didn't get to go, but Norman said he was very good. He sat and watched Norman get a haircut, then Norman fed him peanuts while he got his haircut and he said he only started being impatient at the end. He looks great and they even sent him home with a card that says Congrats on your 1st haircut! SO cute.

Crazy Smart Kid

My kid is crazy smart. Not like, creepy-doesn't-fit-in-society-smart, like useful smart. The other night he took a pen apart and had it back together except for one piece he'd dropped on the floor.

He watched his cousin spill a drink on a footstool and while the rest of the room was discussing it, he went and got a towel and brought it to her. This required him to go in the kitchen, open the correct drawer, get the towel, go back in the living room, and hand it to the correct person. AND understand what was going on and being said before hand!

3rd Week as a Working Mom

Desmond now greets me with a big hug and giggles when I pick him up from my Grandma's at the end of the work day. He's generally very well behaved at her house while I work, unless you count pulling everything out of everywhere as "bad".

I didn't think I'd like working and being away from him all day, but I really enjoy having a job. I feel more independent and self-sufficient. Norman has started helping with house-work and is taking a more active role in parenting Des. Instead of only playing with him he now will tell him no and do the not-as-much-fun parts of being a part. I think he appreciates how much work it is a lot more too. I came home last week on Monday, the day he has him all day by himself, and he had been napping.

Des and I had a stubborn contest last night. We were wrapping presents and there was a pair of scissors in a box of bows. He picked them up and I told him to put them down. He wouldn't. I insisted and then moved him to a different room. We repeated this about 15 times. He finally gave up and listened when I told him not to touch the scissors. I don't want to have to put everything out of his reach, I want him to listen to me.

The other fun thing we did was Sunday night we took Des to the Wagon Wheeler Christmas party. He got to see Santa for the first time. He watched all the other kids sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas and then I took him up and put him on Santa's lap. He was skeptical to say the least. I stepped back and Norman took a couple pictures. He was whinning a little as Santa's beard made him nervous, so I helped him slide down and they gave him a gift bag of candy, which he loved. I think he'll do fine with Santa next year.

Officially a Working Mom!

It's scary! Not what I saw myself doing. I like being about to be home with Desmond all the time. I feel like being a stay at home mom is best for the child, but it's not the best option right now. We have debt that needs paid to make us more stable and that is the priority. So, I'm working at the family business full-time. Yeah, way to jump right in!

Des hasn't missed me yet. Norman takes care of him when he can and so far he goes to my Grandma's on the other days. Eventually I'm hoping to get him in half-time preschool or something. He is tearing the house apart and I think he's just really bored.

I so far am really enjoying working. I'm getting up at 6 AM and working out before going to work. I feel really good about that. I feel like I'm making progress on rehabing the shop. They are happy to have me there which is definitely good.

I'm not sure about how this will go long term. I'm only on day 3. I worry how it will effect Des long term and our marriage long term. I don't have energy to deal with Des hopping off the walls already and it's only Tuesday.

I'm hoping to get them in good enough shape to PAY me and then I'll have money to put in savings which will make me feel much better. They will pay me, but I don't know when it'll be. They don't have any pay schedule set up currently, lol!

What A Year

2011 has been a big year. Things have changed, people have grown, both physically and emotionally. I feel like we're embarking on a new chapter in our lives.

My mission for myself this year was to make my health a priority for my child. People like to say, "I'd do anything for my child, I'd DIE for them!" But then in the next breath they'll admit they won't make healthy choices or do anything to make sure they LIVE for their child. Because that's everyday, that's self-discipline, that's HARD. I made a conscious decision that I am going to LIVE for my child. He's going to have a healthy mom, a mom that makes both physical health and mental health a priority so that I can be the best mom for Desmond that I can be. This year, I focused on my physical health. I changed my diet, took up exercising 5 days a week. I've lost 54 lbs. and I'm back to the weight I was in 2007. I am in better shape than I was then because I work-out now.

I have decided that my mission for next year is to make more Mom-friends and get a larger social circle. First step is to join Walla Walla MOPS. Wish me luck on that!

Aside from learning to handle an intelligent, curious, way-to-clever toddler this year, the biggest change for us was Norman's mother passing away suddenly. It hit the whole family hard and we're still spinning from it. It's pulled us all together, but it's also made evident how important the choices we make for ourselves are to everyone else we love. It made it clear what our priorities should be. This holiday season is going to be hard at times, but we'll make it through.

An experience like this makes you think about the kind of person you want to be and want to be remembered as. Trudy left a legacy of loving everyone first, learning about them later. She loved you before you earned it and regardless of if you did. What legacy would be left if you died right now? It's definitely something to think about to refocus your priorities.

It has made Norman and I work more as a team I think. We communicate better and he understands family as a priority better. He if more confident and sure of himself.

Along with a tragedy, we also worked on future plans this year. Norman is working on getting his CEC (certified Executive Chef) and a business plan for a restaurant down the road. I have taken a job as an office assistant at the family business. Hopefully they like me and keep me on as it would really help our budget. We are trying to get ride of our debt before tackling a restaurant so it would make that much more feasible.

I am very excited for Christmas because Desmond will be into opening presents. I put up the tree and have spent the last few days trying to keep Des from pulling off the decorations. But I'm happy to have the house decorated and most the presents wrapped and under the tree.

I feel like I'm in a good place with being a wife and a mom. Norman is doing better at being supportive when I am overwhelmed with something and just need him to listen to me talk a bit. I miss Trudy a lot, but I know she would want us to be happy and move forward in our lives, so that makes it a little easier.

Norman threw another wrench in the works by getting a puppy "for me". So I'm house-training a puppy in the middle of everything else. It's not going too bad, but it is one more thing to take care of. Ask me how I like him in a couple months, lol.

Times Flies

Desmond is still not walking, but he's really close. I think he thinks he's a dog. He was barking in Safeway yesterday. He plays in the dog crate all the time and tries to steal their toys.

I have decided that being a mom is quite the education. I didn't know I could fit so much into one day. Being a mom has taught me how to prioritize, how to NOT procrastinate. It's made me see how important it is to make sure I take care of my son's mom. I don't take lightly how parents always says "I'd die for my kid", but they aren't willing to "live" for them. They aren't willing to be healthy, make good choices, etc. to be around a long time and be the best parent they can be for their child.

I've learned how to remember everything, get to everything on time with a baby, juggle being a wife, mom, friend, family-member, while still taking good care of my dogs and horses. I cram taking care of myself and house into the time it take Des to nap. I don't know how I ever lived without my son. He makes everything in life clearer.

Playing Catch-Up

It seems as a parent of a baby I spend a lot of time trying to catch-up; catch-up on house work, folding laundry, with friends, animal care, getting pictures on facebook, filling in the baby-book, bonding time with the hubby, and updating blogs.

Desmond bit me the other night nursing, and wouldn't nurse without biting me, so I decided he was done and he didn't seem to mind. Last night Michelle put him to bed for the night and he was just fine. I guess we're done nursing! It was his choice so I'm left a little behind, but that's ideal I guess! Yesterday he refused to nap, so it was a long day, but not terrible. Today he screamed most the morning, but I didn't get him to go down for a nap, so I'm hoping the rest of the day goes smoother.

Hopefully I'll have the blog updated with pictures soon. I'm trying to get caught up on the pictures so I can order prints.

1-YEAR OLD!!!

Desmond is a whole year old now! He had a dog-themed birthday with 33 people in attendance. He was cheerful the whole time and loved his ice-cream cake. He let everyone hold him and was just a champ the whole day. He opened his presents with excitement and didn't cry during the happy birthday song.

Desmond isn't walking yet, but very near. He will cruise around tables and couches, he can crawl onto the couch or his lounge chair, and his new thing today was looking at me upside down between his legs.

Desmond can wave, clap, high-five, stick out his tongue, give kisses, raspberries, click his tongue, squint his eyes, he's just hilarious. He adores all animals and is learning to pet them gently. He is a cheerful little guy and only gets cranky when he's tired.

He has 5 teeth, two on the bottom, three on top. He only nurses in the evening and eats normal food with me at meal-time now. He drinks water from a sippy cup and is very proud of that ability. He has a bigger car-seat, still rear-facing and endures car-rides well most the time. he has a assortment of car toys to help pass the time. He loves going in stores in his stroller and seeing everything. He hasn't gotten to the grabbing everything and throwing it in the cart phase yet.

He got his first hair-cut on Sunday before the party and he did great. He looks all grown-up now. He naps once a day, usually for 2 hours. He sleeps in his own room, usually from 7 or 8 PM to 7ish AM. Somehow, that is still not long enough.

I bought him a baby pool for his birthday but it hasn't been warm enough to set it up yet. He should like it though, he loves taking showers.

He was intrigued by Jaden playing the guitar and singing. He started singing along and then Jaden held him in his lap and showed him how to play the guitar. Desmond tried to strum, it was adorable!


You Know You're A Parent When:

There are Mega Blocks in the dish-drainer.

You sing everything you do.

You dance in public without thinking about it.

You can get all your house-work done during a 2-hour period.

Hiring a baby-sitter for a date-night is not as appealing as hiring a baby-sitter for a nap.

Couponing: A Newb's Guide To Couponing

I am VERY new at couponing, but I've learned a lot in the 2 months we've been doing it. Here is a run-down.

Basic Concept: Collect coupons -> Read store flyers -> Match coupons with sales = Cheap or free stuff.

Where To Get Coupons:
Newspaper
Magazines
Internet
Grocery Store Isles
In-Store booklets
Store flyers

Newspapers:
Rural areas don't get all the inserts, so figure out what paper near you gets everything and then purchase that paper at a stand or by subscription when you want all the coupons for that week. We don't get any papers, we collect relative's papers that are willing to let us claim their inserts. We buy extras at a gas station when there are good inserts.

-> Inserts: P&G Saver, Smart Source, Red Plum (Red Plum is the one that isn't in all the papers)

Magazines: Parents magazine has amazon.com coupons towards diapers. Sometimes $10 off, sometimes 20%. You can stack multiple discounts together from different months and get good deals. The main magazine for coupons is All You. It has tons of coupons every month and money-saving is one of their main focus for content. It's one of the few magazines that I subscribe to because it has good information and isn't just a bunch of expensive clothing ads. Once in a while you'll find coupons in another magazine, but those are the main ones.

Internet: There are three, well make that four, basic ways to get internet coupons. The coupon lingo is "IP" (Internet Printable).

-> Product Websites: Go to a product website. Look at the buttons at the top and bottom (don't miss big glaring promotion buttons either!) for a button titled "Promotions", "Coupons", or "Offers". Click those and you'll see what they are offering you directly. Sometimes there will be one, sometimes a dozen coupons.

-> Facebook "Like": Certain product pages on Facebook will give you a coupon if you click Like. You will get tips to these pages through coupon blogs (more on those later).

-> Newsletters: Sign up for the newsletters from product/company sites and they will often send you coupons right your email. I keep a coupon email address to use JUST for my coupon news.

-> Coupon website: There is ONE main coupon website. There are a coupon other small ones, but only one HUGE one. There are a bunch of other websites that will claim to give you a ton of coupons but they really just want your email and then send you junk and they just route you through their site to the main coupon site. The ONE real coupon site is: www.coupons.com. Just go straight there and get your coupons.

-> Grocery Store Isles: When you go to stores like Albertsons and Safeway, glance down each isle for tear-pad coupons, blinking boxes with coupons, and automatic coupon dispensers. We have found they often match with a sale at a DIFFERENT store then you find them in.
---> PEELIES: These are coupons stuck to actual products. We've recently found them on Tilex, Pillsbury brownies, and Rightguard Bodywash. DO NOT steal them off of a product you're not buying. But you can definitely choose the ones with peelies to help with your deals. We got free rightguard this week by using the peelies on the bottles at check out on top of a the sale. Also, CHECK THE EXPIRATION DATES! You can usually sneak a peek without ruining the coupon. I've found they are often past date.

-> In-Store Booklets: Drugstores and grocery stores often have in-store booklets to promote items. In-store or even manufacture coupons abound in these! Example: Safeway had a book out for Football Sunday and it had a ton of coupons in it. We got free Chex mix at Walgreens, cheap pringles, mayo, etc. These will be located in the standee with the store flyer at the entrance, or you can ask at customer service if they're out up front. You'll know when you check by watching your blogs.

-> Store Flyers: Your drugstores and grocery stores put out a flyer every week profiling their sales or promoted items. These will be your key to matching up for awesome sales. There will be a bunch in the Sunday paper and there are several in the wednesday free paper. However, if you wait to get your Riteaid and Walgreens flyers on Wednesday you */99risk free items being gone because Sunday paper people got their flyer the previous Sunday. The store flyer will tell you about bundle deals, in-store coupons, etc. Walgreens, Safeway, Albertsons, and Riteaid often have in-store coupons in their flyers. You may need more than one copy of the flyer to get your stock-ups on a really good deal.

So, you've got your coupons, you've got your store flyers, now what? Look at your flyers and see what coupons match the sales. Be sure to pay attention to sizes and weights on the items and whether the amount on the coupon is for 1 item or 2 or 3. Sometimes I think I've found a free thing and it turns out it is $1 off THREE items or only works for a 10 oz. or larger item, etc. Also, watch your expiration dates. They often expire on Saturday and more than once the item has gone on the sale the Sunday after.

Organizing: Some people use a recipe box or file box. Some people bring only the coupons they are planning to use into the store. Those don't make sense to us. We do the Coupon Binder (or as Norman calls it, coupon bible). I have a zipper binder and it's filled with photo album pages that each hold three 4x6 photos. Instead of photos, each pocket has a white piece of paper in it and coupons on either side. We have white labels folded in half on the edge of each page with the content of that section and then a pocket page for each store to hold that store's flyer for the week. We also keep a small pair of scissors in the binder.

Coupon Stacking: This is when you use a store coupon AND a manufacturers coupon on the SAME item. Usually you find the store coupon in a store flyer, store booklet, or store website. Sometimes a store will have a manufacturer's coupon on their flyer, so make sure you read them carefully.

Doublers: I have used them at Albertson's. Can't give advice for anywhere else. A doubler is a coupon a store gives that doubles the amount of a manufacture's coupon. These can make for free deals. At Albertson's you can only use three in a transaction and they come in numbered sets of three and you have to have one or less of each number. You can use a 1,2,3, a 1,3, but not a 3,3. You can use Internet coupons, but only one for the same item in each transaction. So, if you buy two bottles of coffee creamer you have to buy them in two transactions in order to use two printed coupons. Internet coupons have different bar-codes on them, so it doesn't make sense, but that's the way it is.

Previews: To get the best deals and be most organized, preview RiteAid and Walgreens before Sunday so you know what coupons you want and can have everything together. The sites to find the previews on are listed in the resources at the end of the post.

RiteAid: You can run amazing deals at Riteaid. Sign up for the Wellness Card. They have their sales set up to maximize couponing. In addition to crazy sales they also do +Ups, which is store money that prints at the end of your receipt when you purchase certain items. DON'T THROW THEM AWAY. They do expire so pay attention to that and make sure you use them in your next trip (or transaction).

Often, you can find items that are on sale, have a store coupon, a manufacture's coupon, and +Ups. These can end up FREE or actually MAKE MONEY. They don't give you money to take home (at least mine doesn't), so make sure you have enough items in your transaction to soak up the extra.

RiteAid also has Video Values coupons. You go to the RiteAid website, click on Video Values, sign up for that website, then watch videos, enter a code, and print coupons that are good only at RiteAid. These are awesome because you can STACK them with manufacture's coupons.

I have been buying cheap make-up by using their +Ups when-you-buy deal. They will have it in the flyer what deals like this are on for the week. There will be a yellow box around some items and it will tell you "$3 +Up when you spend $10" or whatever amounts. They've been doing buy-1-get-one-%50 off on make-up, then get $5 +Up when you spend $20. Combine that with a coupon on each item and you'll end up with 4 or 6 items of make-up for about $8. Another recent deal was buy X of X-brand, get X +Ups, and one of the items was ice cream. The icecream was pay $3, get $2 +Up. By the end of it you bought 6 half-gallons for $17.94 and got $17 in +Ups back on your receipt. SO, that works out to $.16 for half-gallon. WHOA. Yeah, awesome!

The last thing for Riteaid is Rebates. We haven't done them yet. They have a new set every month and they are listed in a flyer you get at the front of the store. Certain items can give you a rebate when you buy them. You just register online and put in info off your receipt and you'll get one check at the end of the month (if I understand correctly) for all the rebate items you bought. You DO have to put in the effort to enter the info on the site, but that's it. Again, combine this with coupons and sales and you'll be looking at some cheap/free deals.

Walgreens: No card to sign up for. Instead of +Ups they have RegisterRewards. They print at the end of your receipt just like +Ups. If you make two purchases that qualify for RR, do them in two transactions or you won't get the 2nd RR. They also have a weird thing where you have to have the same amount of items as you do paper coupons you're handing them. So, you can stack two on one item, but you have to throw in a pack of gum or something to have the same amount of items as coupons. Also, you can't use more than one of the same store coupon in one transaction. Plan to run multiple transactions for most trips.

Safeway: E-COUPONS! Sign up for the store card, register on the site, and load all the coupons onto your card. They will automatically apply when you buy the item in your store! No paper to carry! They will stack store coupons with manufacturer ones. They have some good coupons in their flyer, usually they require a $10 purchase, but that's not hard to get.

FAQ:
When will you see results in your budget? They say it takes a good 5 months to really reap the benefits of couponing and stocking up. We've noticed a difference already, after only 2 months.

Where are the best deals? For groceries, Albertson's is best on doublers week. Otherwise, you'll find deals really cheap at Safeway also. We don't have a lot of the main coupon grocery stores where I live, so that's about it. Look for blogs written for your area and you'll quickly figure out where the hot-spots are.
For drugstore items, Walgreens and Riteaid are awesome. My favorite is Riteaid, but Norman really like Walgreens. You favorite will just depend on your local store's coupon policies and employees.

It's SO overwhelming, how do I start? I started at Riteaid. Then graduated into groceries. Start small and do some small transactions to build confidence and get a feel for the process. If possible, follow a couponing mentor the first trip or two. Read some blogs, but not so many you're completely discouraged. I suggest easing in with one or two deals at Riteaid early in the week so you can go back again for more deals if you get hooked (you will). Look at the Riteaid blog or any blog that follows Riteaid and watch for a deal that works out free or $1 or so. Pick one that uses a coupon you can print or have in your binder. Go in and get just that thing and do the transaction. Once you're successful it's easier to go from there. You might even want to do a scouting trip; just walk around the store, get a feel for where things are, what the signs for +Ups look like, etc. Carry the flyer around and get familiar. Practice matching up the coupons with the sales. No one will look at you weird, I do it all the time.
I think the big thing is just be as prepared as you can be and you'll be more confident. Look up the store policy for each store so you know what to expect in how they handle coupons. It's a good idea to print the policy for each store and keep it in your binder. Employees don't always know the policy.

Resources: (You will collect many more)

Coupon-Producing Newsletters to sign up for:
7th Generation
Friskies
Lysol
Arm & Hammer
Wendy's
Kellogg's

Websites to Register On:
RiteAid
Safeway
VideoValues
CouponMom

Coupons:
Coupons.com
RedPlum
SmartSource

Blogs:
IHeartRiteAid
IHeartWalgreens
KrazyCouponLady
AddictedToSavings
FabuLesslyFrugal
CouponDivas
HappyMoneySaver
ThriftyNWMom
Hip2Save
GoodDealMama
JessicasCoupons
PennyPincherGazette
CouponConnectionsNW
MomAndDadSaves
FreeSnatcher
TheFrugalLifeOfAMom
MyFrugalAdventures

Those blogs will give you links to tons others. There are so many good ones! Enjoy!

Where Did February Go?

Desmond is amazing! He crawls way too fast, pulls up on everything, grabs phones, computer mice, and laptops, he likes to sit with me and watch TV to get sleepy for naps. He is very persistent, especially when it comes to touching the laptop. He has two teeth. He got moved to his own room last week because he kept waking up at 3 AM wanting to play and wouldn't let me sleep. He is eating baby food two times a day now and nursing 3 times. I've quit pumping this week, which was a big deal for me. I'm sad he is getting closer and closer to weaning, but it will mean more freedom for me. But I think I'm more sad than looking forward to freedom.

Desmond is really fun now, he gets excited about things, bounces up and down when he's happy to see you, loves going out on the town. His biggest thing is the last two days he's said "Dada" when Norman came home from work. That was pretty cool.

Desmond went to cradleroll for the first time Saturday, I think he liked it. It was quite the workout for me, it's up and down the whole time.

I've been working and I think I've lost about 5 lbs. I'm not too concerned with how much I lose, I just want to be getting healthy to keep up with Desmond as he gets more and more mobile. The last week I've been sick so I haven't gotten to work out but I hope to be well enough to start up again Sunday.

Our couponing is going well I think. Norman has gone crazy with it and we have quite a lot in dry storage now. I think we'll get to where we aren't buying much pretty soon. It's been an intense couple months though, shopping 2 or 3 times a week.

Your Know You're A Parent When:
All the books you read center around characters that are either fuzzy or tend to hide behind flaps.

You sort out your true friends using the "dirty-diaper" test. lol

The concept of a movie or tv show not geared for kids almost doesn't register.

You can describe, in detail, the format and concepts of Sesame Street.

You automatically keep everything on a table at the center.

Couponing and Teething - My Life Now?

Desmond Update:
Desmond can now crawl just fine, but doesn't like it much and is working hard on learning to walk. He pulls up on everything and everyone. He isn't fully cruising yet, but getting close. He is also learning to drink from a cup and a sippy cup. I am feeding him baby-food twice a day up from once a day and he's starting to nurse less. I am sad about that because I'll miss having the special time together, but I told him yesterday we'll just have to start a different ritual that we do together like reading books or something. He seemed to think that was a good idea.

Des is a super happy little guy, he gives lots of smiles and loves having his favorite people around. My friend Michelle is one of his new favorite people and he thinks she is hilarious. He is also quite a daddy's boy and when Norman has a day off work Desmond wants to play with him all day and be held by him and I don't get to hold him much, lol.

Desmond's favorite things include taking long showers with daddy until the hot water runs out, watching dogs play fetch and watching Elmo's world. And sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed.

Desmond now has two teeth, the 2nd is just finishing coming through and we aren't getting a lot of sleep. The 2nd tooth came through much faster than the first so hopefully they'll get easier and easier because I haven't gotten to recover my sleep yet from the first one.

The funniest thing Desmond has started doing is that he uses his exer-saucer as a playhouse. We have it in his playpen and he plays on the floor in there. He will then take toys or baskets and crawl into the base of the saucer and play with his toys with his head up through the seat hole. He crawls in and out and changes toys and bangs them on the legs of the saucer. Last night his basket wasn't behaving and he got very mad and screamed at it and threw it out of the saucer-fort. It was so funny, I wish I'd gotten it on video.

Couponing:
Our couponing is going well. Norman has really taken to it and this last week he pretty much took over, which is okay because I'm tired from all the teething. So far we've hit Albertson's, Walmart, Walgreens, and Riteaid. Our favorite is Riteaid. We have quite the inventory building up in the back of the laundry room. It definitely is comforting to have all that stockpile. We only have to buy fresh produce and tortillas with our check on Friday! We've gotten several things for free and have been able to buy a few things that we just made do without before.

Finding Me:
I have been exercising on the treadmill and stability ball and I feel better about myself even though I don't know if I look any different. Michelle did my nails and I'm learning to do make up from her and trying to learn how to do more with my hair. I don't want to be one of those mom's that gets all frumpy and frazzled looking. I feel like I've found my niche as a mom and I want to embrace that and look like I belong here, too. If I've lost any weight it's only like a pound or two. But my thing is to just be healthy and more fit and hopefully some weight will fall off eventually, but I just want to be able to keep up with Desmond as he learns to walk and have energy to play with him AND get everything else done that I already do.

You Know You're A Parent When:
You carry baby-food to Taco Bell.
Your back seat is full of baby stuff instead of saddles and bridles.
You find yourself trying to rationalize the logistic errors of kids shows.
You can name all the characters on Sesame Street.
You catch your husband whistling the theme song to Elmo's World.
You can routinely function on 3 hours of sleep.

Dog Baby Vs. People Baby

Dog Baby:
gives sloppy kisses
must be watched/confined at all times
chews on everything, especially dangerous/choking hazard things
looks cute in clothes
does like wearing clothes
makes lots of messes
needs lots of shots
eats special food
everything they do is cute
most cute when sleeping
separation anxiety
makes cute noises
walk on all fours
not much for listening to you read stories
loves playing with other babies/puppies
wants what you're eating
likes to go everywhere with you
have to get up many times a night to let them out to pee

People Baby:
gives sloppy kisses
must be watched/confined at all times
chews on everything, especially dangerous/choking hazard things
looks cute in clothes
does like wearing clothes
makes lots of messes
needs lots of shots
eats special food
everything they do is cute
most cute when sleeping
separation anxiety
makes cute noises
walk on all fours
not much for listening to you read stories
loves playing with other babies/puppies
wants what you're eating
likes to go everywhere with you
have to wake up many times a night to care for it

Okay, so the only real difference is that your people baby is going to hopefully, look at least vaguely like you, and you don't have the convenience of people able to lock your people baby in a crate so you can go out to town for a few hours. At least I believe that's generally frowned upon.